Does Perspective Really Matter?
“Timing Is Everything”
My Perspective Makes a Difference
Bible verses often speak to me in different ways at different times. They can be medicine for my soul. But sometimes, it's not the right time for that particular "medicine" (verse or passage). This morning, I read some verses that were just what I needed, but in a different moment, could have leveled me- like a few moments that occurred just last night.
Yesterday was a beautiful day. The day held a rare, special feeling that made it glow like one of the "best days ever”. It wasnt the weather, it was quite uncomfortable around here. And it definitely was not because I was in a tropical paradise, because I stayed close to home and the midwest is wonderful, but it's no tropical paradise! Instead, it glowed because each moment fit together just like it was supposed to, only better. Days like that are rare and precious jewels. I don’t remember the last time I experienced a day like that. Then, for a bit in the evening, I lost that "perfect day" feeling.
I lost something else too. My emotions momentarily spun out of control. I don’t "lose it" like that often, and I sure don’t enjoy it when I do. In that time by myself, my emotions flipped- one moment I was calm, happy and even buoyant, the next Saw me sobbing, worrying about the future and the many “what ifs”.
You don’t have to have cancer to have moments like these - most of us have deep concerns that we carry in our heart. This moment was out of character for me because I don’t let go like that often. Don't get me wrong, it's not abnormal for me to show my emotions. My feelings trickle or tumble out - all - the - time. It’s like someone left the faucet runnng in my emotional control room.
But, sobbing? No, not me, not often. I can probably count the times in the last decade. Maybe even count them through the last three decades. But last night, something momentarily shifted inside me. I sank deeply into it. In that time and space, the feelings were so intense. Suddenly, the question just popped right out of my mouth, “Why now, God?” I asked him why, wondering about the timing of this outburst. Why after such a beautiful day? As I asked, I felt a relief just from asking. Then, instead of a slow wind down, my crying stopped as quickly as it started.
It came, it went, like a sudden summer shower. Thankfully, when my moment was over, I was able to move on and enjoy the rest of the evening and not let that outlier event spoil the “perfect and rare day” that graced my life. Those rare, sweet days come and go so fast that sometimes we blink and miss them. Many times the bad moments inside a day overshadow the good, and we might let it "spoil" our sweet day.
I am so thankful that I was able to leave behind the strangling thoughts and the suffering that I felt last night. I believe with God’s help, I was able to choose to move on. I was able to still enjoy what was right in front of me.
Later that night, I planned on reading a few Bible verses before bed. I was so tired. I am sure you have felt tired like that. It’s the good tired of being busy, getting things done, checking things off lists and reveling in the people and the place(s) around you. I was overwhelmed from a long day, so I put it off until morning. I had peace about waiting. I used to punish myself with such guilt and condemnation when I didn’t “pray enough, read the Bible enough, or go to church enough.”
I really thought having faith was wrapped up in some kind of statistical performance. I see now that for me, it was damaging to me and to my to faith to think that way. On many days, it prevented the “love relationship” that is foundational in my faith. I see that it kept me from calling out to Father God when I was weary, wounded, angry, lonely or even joyous. It prevented me from just being with my creator.
I now work very hard to NOT keep "statistical analysis" of how often I pray, read the Bible, go to church (sickness really humbled me here) or any other “faith practice” or “religious activitiy”. Communicating with God has changed for me. Faith is a moment by moment thing now for me. I can communicate by listening to Him or "speaking" with him at any time. It’s not even like picking up a phone. It’s faster. It’s in my heart, head and/or soul. It’s a thing called the Holy Spirit. I believe He (God) is here with me and for me through the Holy Spirit every day. It’s my holy communication line- and it’s built in and connected inside my (figurative) heart by God himself!
That’s a lot to digest. I can feel that I have shared what I was meant to share today. Except to say, this morning came. And I finally got around to reading the verses that I was “meant to” read last night. Except that I was meant to read them this morning. They would have leveled me last night in a really bad way. I can see why this morning was the right time to read them. I was refreshed and ready- this morning. They were a balm (a healing lotion) to me, a comfort and an encouragement.
My perspective had changed. I was in the right place at the right time and I was ready. Scorecards and checklists don’t work for me. Relationships do. I am so glad that my Father God is ready and waiting for me every second of every day. I hope I am becoming more and more ready to hear what he has to say to me.
With Much Love and Affection,
Christine
~ALK+ and refreshed
From this morning:
2 Corinthians 4:16-18
Therefore do not lose heart.
Even though our outward man is perishing,
yet the inward man is being renewed day by day.
For our light affliction,
which is but for a moment,
is working for us a far more exceeding
and eternal weight of glory,
While we do not look at the things which are seen.
For the things which are seen are temporary,
but the things which are not seen are eternal.
Psalm 119:17-19
Deal bountifully with your servant,
That I may live and keep your word.
Open my eyes, that I may see
Wonderous things from Your law.
I am a stranger in the earth;
Do not hide your commandments from me.
