Sunday Afternoon Thoughts

Sunday


Where My Heart Is Resting These Days

~A Heart Story That Might Sting Just a Little~

💜💓💙💓💜

Happy Sunday. I hope today finds you blessed and refreshed. Confessions are hard, but I hope that in sharing mine, I can bless you and even myself as I pour them out. Sundays are quite different now than they used to be. I used to put so much pressure on myself to "get everything right" on Sunday mornings that I often missed the blessing or the refreshing/resting, and sometimes I missed both. 


In my hurry, scramble and push to show up looking my best and in drive to do my best at home and at church. Once children came along, then having "the children" looking and doing (behaving) their best always trumped, but never took away my scramblings to also have myself appearing cared for. I think that I missed the whole point of Sundays.


I admit, I was quite young and naive. On top of that, I took my religion quite seriously. I took EVERYTHING seriously. The reasons for working so hard at everything are complicated and most aren't bad reasons. The real problem was that I hadn't yet learned what I now know today. I have blessedly learned that Sundays are for refreshing and blessing.


These days, my Sundays look different from week to week. My attendance is spotty and unpredictable from the outside of my family. It ebbs and flows with my energy level, emotional capability (cancer is hard, you know) and it often also flows according to my health status. Oh yeah, occasionally we “play hookey” to cheer on our son at his soccer match.


I tell you all this, not to say or ask or any of it is right or wrong. I am not looking for pats on the back or any absentee excuse letters based on my cancer status. Nope. I don't want or need (well the want part is “likely” a lie) the approval of other people.


I have already talked this over with my Father God. My husband has done his communication with him too. I have chosen to dare the path of not looking at others for permission. That's hard for me, because at my core, I am a people pleaser. 


And that was the big problem with how I approached Sundays in the past. I wanted the approval of people and wasn't really in communication with my Father God about how HE saw that happening. I did what I did because I was doing my best to do the right thing and that's a lot of doing on a Sunday. 


What in the world was that? I know, right? That's how it came out, and I am winging this one out there with a grammar and spell check and letting it go by the grace of my Father God. May  it land in the right place or go nowhere.


From here, any deep explanations get a bit over my own level of explaining - especially since I promised myself that I would not do "work" for the blog on a Sunday. Yet here I am typing a quick, throw it out there essay. I have thrown a few notes on Sundays, despite my plan to stay away. I think that's because it's refreshing to me and I hope it brings a blessing to you. 


To make only sharing what’s refreshing for me easier and more decisive, every time it feels like work, I take a breath. Then, I hit backspace until the spot arrives where the "pressure in my chest, gotta work to get approval feeling" goes away. I never planned on this piece being over a few sentences, but here it is a short essay, set to share with you. 


Now, this is where I move to the "where my heart is resting these days" opening thought. I hopped online to share the veses below and give you a quick synopsis of why they are so deeply meaningful to me these days. I will leave any synopsis for you, because that feels like work right now. 


I will explain why I am sharing some of the most familiar verses of the Bible. I can't really move on from these words.  I keep coming back, hovering and looking. Each time I see more and more depth and meaning. 


Often I am brought to tears. I get a deep sense of fulfillment and satisfaction from them. They even bring me a different kind of pleasure. I feel closer to my God than I may have ever when I sink into these lines.  I think it's called meditating. No matter what this process is, It is bringing great refreshing and blessings to me. I hope they provide a blessing and some refreshing for you today as well. 




Happy Sunday,



Christine


~ Typing and Still Refreshed




PSALM 23
The Lord is my shepherd;
I shall not want.
He makes me to lie down
        in green pastures;
He leads me beside the still waters.
He restores my soul;
He leads me in the paths
        of righteousness
For His name's sake.

Yea, though I walk through the 
        valley of the shadow of death, 
I will fear no evil;
For You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff,
        they comfort me.


You prepare a table before me in


        the presence of my enemies;

You anoint my head with oil;

My cup runneth over.

Surely goodness and mercy

         shall follow me

All the days of my life;

And I will dwell in the house of the LORD

Forever.




~Retyped as and offering to my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ


From the NKJ version


Any typos or mistakes are my own.A big thank you for the heart knowledge, that it is enough, just as it is.


(And thank you for spell check)

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