A "Thank You" Letter
January 22, 2019
I struggled to write the same post for over a month. Then, tired of the struggle, I quit writing. Last week, a letter that brewed in my head for years came spilling out in a matter of hours. The time was right to say these words. I mailed it the next morning, so if there are any typos, I would prefer to remain in the dark about them for now!
Blessing,
Christine
January 15, 2019
Dear Mrs. Beth Moore,
I sit
here today with a copy of your book “Praying God’s Word” beside me. Once again, God is operating through your
words and ministry to refine my faith and develop my trust in Him. Thank you
for allowing God to work through you. I
deeply appreciate your willingness to trust him and allow your name and
reputation to daily face the fire from the enemy in order to strengthen, enlighten
and edify members of the body of Christ.
Thank you for your dedication to deep study of God’s word and delving
even deeper by the continual application to daily life. Your willingness to transparently share your
struggles over the years helps me see that my failures and shortcomings do not
have to define me, but can be refined through God’s grace, mercy and a lifetime
of seeking his will and way. This thank you letter and an explanation of how
God specifically used your words in my life have been working through my mind
and heart for a few years now.
God first used your words to teach
me through multiple Bible Studies that I was blessed to take part in through
our church’s women’s ministry at First Baptist Church of Glen Este. Through our women’s ministry, I enjoyed the
privilege of attending a conference here in Cincinnati A few years ago. That
weekend in Cincinnati provided a unique backdrop for a Christian conference. The funeral for a fallen local police officer
took place shortly before the first meeting.
Then, on the second day, a “Pride Parade” wound through the streets of
Cincinnati and outside the doors of the U.S. Bank Arena where we met on
Broadway Street in the heart of downtown Cincinnati. Our hearts and minds
sensed the current of turbulence and turmoil, and we came prepared to hear what
the Lord had for us during these unstable times.
To the best of my memory, the
majority of the conference focused on spiritual healing and breaking the
spiritual bonds that hold us. Nearing the end of the lessons on the second day,
you shared also of God’s power for physical healing. What began as a powerful
and spiritual time for me, left me raw and open, questioning the lesson. During
the last intermission, two friends seated close to me shared some amazing
stories of when God worked miraculously in their lives. Then, I opened my heart
and revealed the question nagging at my heart. “What about when God chooses NOT
to heal?” I told them of the time when my brother was struck by a car at the
end of the last day of school. Why did
God not heal then? People prayed for his
recovery. Why did God choose to heal in
some circumstances and not in others?
They cried with me and shared their own concerns. It was a bonding time between sisters in
Christ as we faced the realities of living in a sin filled and sin scarred
world. What came next showed us God’s
power and might.
You came out for what was supposed
to “just” be the alter call. You instead
sat down on a stool and revealed that God had prompted you to share part of
your family history that you had never shared before. You paralleled the Bible
story of the Shunamite woman and the miraculous healing of her son and the loss
of your own sister in law in a very similar health condition. Your raw honesty and sensitivity to God’s
prompting allowed my heart to be touched and a part of me healed that had been
hurting and questioning for nearly twenty years. We stood amazed knowing that the same God who
abode with us while we conversed during the break also spoke to you at the same
time back behind the scenes. Who knows
how many people had similar conversations of questions on their hearts? I don’t know, but I know that God does know.
He heard each of our concerns and sent you to give us a direct and specific
answer. I honestly do not remember most
of the words you said that day, but I remember the spirit of love, caring and
concern that went with me and fueled me many days and weeks after. At the time
I contemplated writing you and thanking you for following God’s leading that
day. The memory of it has often touched
me and I have rehearsed what I would say to you, but it is only now that I sit
down to finish what started years ago.
Many things changed over the last
few years. My children have grown older,
wiser and our oldest son entered into the teenage years. We continue to face the challenges of life,
knowing that our God is a powerful God who loves us intimately. While my
children have grown, my health has steadily declined. My childhood asthma grew into what my doctor
originally believed was severe eosinophilic asthma. We sought treatments for that for as long as
they helped, but eventually they quit “helping”. Late in June of 2018, I rushed to seek
medical care after I began coughing up blood.
After a few days in the hospital and many tests, I was diagnosed with
Stage IV lung cancer. It was an excruciating
time for our immediate and extended family and for me personally. At the
hardest time of my life, I felt the palpable presence of God daily. We watched as God provided miracles and we
learned that I am a candidate for a new targeted treatment for a very specific
type of genetic lung cancer. We watched
as the radiation treatments shrank my tumors and allowed my left lung to reopen
last summer. Then, after three months of taking the targeted treatment pills,
the tumors diminished even further, to the point that they are “gone” for
now. I continue taking this medication
daily, thanking God for the new medication that provides relief for me today
and gives our family time together. We do
not know how long this medication will hold back the cancer, but we thank God
that it is working now.
While God has been healing my body
on this earth and providing a miracle for our family, we watched as another
man’s health declined. Eugene, a member of
our church, was diagnosed about a year before me with Stage IV Lung
cancer. Unfortunately (even though he is
a little younger than me), none of the new treatments worked well on his body
and he passed away last week. His faith
and testimony during this time amazed not just me, but the whole body of our
church. Yet, I think now, why me? Why did God not give Eugene more time? I also wonder, how long will God give me?
When will I too, like Eugene, no longer walk on this earth, but step into
heaven, leaving my dear family behind?
These
questions haunt my thoughts while I daily work to raise our three boys while
trying to live a life that seeks Christ and his will, no matter the
outcome. Recently, a dear friend spoke
truth to me (as I have been deeply entrenched in the work of helping our sixteen-year-old
through his own difficulties) that “I must stop trying to be God for him”. That proclamation changed the way I interact
with him but also set me up for a deep revelation when I began “Praying God’s
Word” after receiving it as a Christmas gift from my mother. After reading the introduction, I pondered
jumping to the addiction chapter. I spent at least years eating too much in
order to try to “feel better” as my ability to breath, exercise and function
declined. As a result, I now need to
focus on eating well and fueling my body instead of using food as a comfort and
crutch. In the quiet of the moment, a
still small voice told me to “start at the very beginning, a very good place to
start.” Although the voice did sound an
awful lot like Julie Andrews’ voice and follow the tune of “Do-re-mi” from “The
Sound of Music”, I know that the message was from God.
I began
reading the chapter about Overcoming Idolatry, believing that I had no (or at
least no major) idols to speak of.
Instead, God laid out clearly that I had taken him off the throne and put
many other things in HIS place. My eyes
were squarely placed on my problems and like Peter, I was quickly sinking. Just in a few days, the revelation has opened
my eyes and heart and prepared me for what God has for me to learn next. While I do not know what tomorrow holds, I
thankfully and blessedly do know the ONE who does! And I know that the peace of God will keep me
and my family through the days, months and years to come.
Thank
you for your continual heart of ministry.
Thank you for following Christ as your own waves crash around you. Thank you for living a life of redemption and
sharing it so that others, like me, can see the light of Christ. Thank you for sharing of a redeemer who loves
of and cleanses us, no matter what our past looks like. I look to the future
with hope and yearning, knowing that one day our trials and tribulations will
be traded in for the glory and majesty of heaven. Until that day, thank you for
taking a stand for Christ in a world that does not show respect for those that
choose to stand for him.
With love, respect and a grateful heart,
Christine Ressler
