The Good, the pure, and the lovely

  A Valuable lesson of forgiveness from my/our cancer Journey Part 1 လ I didn't sue my oncologist. It was complicated. While life is complicated in general, life with cancer gets even more complicated. Until it suddenly gets too simple - all that's left is to push through and focus on that one little goal in front of you. Maybe concentrate on swallowing that applesauce. Perhaps struggle to climb that normal, wait . . . . .that’s become an enormous set of stairs! Just sleep. It sounds so deceptively simple. How many routines, habits, rituals and pills does it take to get some sleep? If only getting clean was as simple as it was in my childhood when a shower or bath with a face scrub and a good teeth brushing completed the job. Some days and times, it can be that easy.   Other times are filled with obstacles and complications. Larger tasks take more time and organizational energy. Forget cleaning the house, working in the kitchen, facilitating school, thinking through me...

     The inevitable cancer question circles around often, "So, are you in remission?". This emotionally charged question challenges me, but I know that those who ask the question care about me and it is comforting to know that they hope for healing. Each time it comes up, my answer becomes a little more calm and confident. "Medically speaking, remission is not a possibility for me." It hurts to speak those words some days. No cure for Stage IV Lung cancer exists today.        Most of the time I closely follow that sentence with, "With God, all things are possible, (Matt 19:26) I know he CAN do a miracle, if he chooses to."   I believe deep within my heart that IF God chooses to sweep away every last cancer cell in my body, He will.  While I ground my soul in that knowledge, I keep in mind the apostle Paul's  words in to the Corinthians, "Everything is permitted, but everything isn't beneficial (for me)" (1 Corinthians 10:23, ...

January 22, 2019 I struggled to write the same post for over a month.  Then, tired of the struggle, I quit writing.  Last week, a letter that brewed in my head for years came spilling out in a matter of hours.  The time was right to say these words.  I mailed it the next morning, so if there are any typos, I would prefer to remain in the dark about them for now!  Blessing, Christine January 15, 2019 Dear Mrs. Beth Moore,                 I sit here today with a copy of your book “Praying God’s Word” beside me.   Once again, God is operating through your words and ministry to refine my faith and develop my trust in Him. Thank you for allowing God to work through you.   I deeply appreciate your willingness to trust him and allow your name and reputation to daily face the fire from the enemy in order to strengthen, enlighten and edify members of the...

     The greatest fear of a control freak is quite naturally, the loss of control.  I have never felt more helpless than I have this summer.  Driving my feelings, is the deep treachery dealt by my own body, knowing that at it's cellular and genetic level, it betrayed me.  Strangely enough, I started noticing my symptoms right after the "healthiest" phase of my life and that complicates my vulnerability.  Then, despite various efforts on my part, I watched my health decline for at least three to four years.  I feel powerlessness and ineffectual.  After weeks and possibly even months or years of emotional frustration, I wrote a list. I like lists.  They help me take control and feel powerful.  I inventoried all the actions and activities that deliver the sensation of standing at the helm of my own life.  I am completely aware that this may be just an illusion, but I have never appreciated or felt easy in the passive state, allowi...

Survivorship and Looking Forward Living Life with Stage IV ALK+ Lung Cancer     Cancer changes everything.  Early this summer, the ground beneath our family shook, cracked open and formed a whole new dimension.  At least, that is what it felt like when we received my diagnosis of Stage IV Lung cancer in late June.  Now we face the challenge of living with a diagnosis that holds the status of "incurable disease" and hangs a cloud over our heads.   Not so many years ago, even a decade ago, a diagnosis like this brought with it a life expectancy of around a year and a stint in Chemotherapy that brought many accompanying side effects.  Now, thanks to modern medical discoveries and a huge blessing from the Lord, we have a new medicine that offers us years together before facing Chemotherapy and possible further treatments.  While this medicine does not promise a cure or a long life, it gives us time together.  With that time comes hope t...

Or Why My Brother Is The Best Brother In The World My brother recently received a very strange message.  It began something like this,  "Hi Tim.  You've given me a very difficult moral and ethical dilemma - To Share or not To Share . . . . "  I believe these pictures might explain better than my words can. Chocolate covered strawberries.  Let's get a little closer, please.   These beauties arrived courtesy of my brother. I tried the delightful Dark chocolate. It tasted even better than it looks. Not even this morsel of chocolate was left when I was finished with that first strawberry. So, to answer as to how I handled my delima, well, I shared (a little, anyway).  And yes, YOU may think that you have the best brother in the world, but I will always know the truth . . . . I do!

or Why #1 Is Called #1 and Why #2 Is Called #2 Me, "Little Man, if you put #1 in the potty you get on 1 candy and if you put #2 in the potty you get 2 candies !" Little Man, " Tree, tree (three, three)!" Me, "Yes, if you do both, then you can have  3 candies ." ~ Picture courtesy of Wikipedia http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/e/e5/Plain-M%26Ms-Pile.jpg

Our Family Vacation Back in February, we took a lovely vacation in Florida.  While we were there, our boys experienced the joy of the ocean for the very first time.  Daddy and Little Man Big Brother feels the waves. Momaw The Three Musketeers Looking out to the great beyond.

How does it happen that time flies so fast?  My babies became boys before my very eyes.  Now, Brother in the Middle is six!  We celebrated his birthday his whole "birthday weekend" long.  Special breakfasts, out to eat, special dinners, treats for his Sunday School class.  Birthday weekends are special things, and his was no different.  How did this happen, my little boy growing another year?  It wasn't one particular moment, but a long string of moments collecting together to create a whole year.  He has changed since last year.  He has learned, matured and developed.  It is with great wonder and amazement that I watch this little boy begin to unfold into a man. 

Little man turned two today.  My baby . . . . sigh.  Where does the time go?  It seems just yesterday that we welcomed him into this world.  Today two, tomorrow twenty-two.  For now, here are some special memories from this last year.  Happy Birthday, my sweet boy!

Long before the "I can do it myself!" that comes during the two's and threes, comes the "Can I help you, please?" of the ones.  Yes, the ones.  It is amazing to me, that every one of my boys has wanted to "help" by the time they could walk.  They like to help sort laundry.  They like to sweep the floor with me.  They like to dust and push the mop around and . . . . . the list goes on. Yes, it usually ends up making more work for Mommy.  It takes more time but, it's worth it.  The kids learn to be helpful.  They learn that they are able to contribute and that their efforts are appreciated.  I know the teen years are coming (all too soon, if you ask me).  They might not be so eager to pitch in later, so I am cherishing these blessed years now. Big Brother looks on as Little Man takes his turn sweeping.  Little Man loves to get a turn pushing that machine!

Recently, I have been thinking about serving others.  A friend just mentioned to me the other day that she saw a need to get her children involved in community service projects.  That resonated with me.  I took what she said to heart, and when I saw a notice in our church bulletin about a "Valentine's Day Cookie Drive" for our United States Service Men and Women, I jumped at the chance. When I brought the subject up with the boys, they grew excited.  "Mom, we just made cards for them in our Sunday School class.  We can make cookies, too?!?!"  What a blessing.  They have already been talking about this in Sunday School, and now we get to continue at home.  When Friday rolled around, we "rolled out" the cookie dough.  It was so much fun to work on this project together.  The boys were thrilled to be doing something for someone else.  Even Little Man got into the spirit when he helped carry the cookies to the car. Wa...